sometimes i wish i weren't so nice to everyone. be abit more selfish, isolationist even. insular.
but i know i could never be that way. it'd be like getting me to live without music.
sigh. ah well.

i've gone on a compilation making spree in the last three days! three in three. prolific, i say.

two latenight albums.
the first one for that those 1ams or 2ams when you just want to immerse in the moment and hopefully go to sleep peacefully.
01. Actual Tigers - Yardwork in November (3:57)
02. Nada Surf - Blonde on Blonde (4:35)
03. Badly Drawn Boy - Silent Sigh (4:44)
04. Antony & The Johnsons - Hope There's Someone (4:22)
05. The Coral - Secret Kiss (2:56)
06. Slowdive - Machine Gun (4:28)
07. Bjork - Unravel (3:18)
08. Wilco - Radio Cure (5:06)
09. Doves - Someday Soon (4:08)
10. Pulp - The Trees (4:50)
11. Mia Doi Todd - My Room is White (4:16)
12. Mogwai - New Paths To Helicon Pt 2 (Live) (2:54)
13. Elbow - Powder Blue (4:30)
14. U2 - One Tree Hill (5:22)
15. Broken Social Scene - Shampoo Suicide (4:05)
16. Radiohead - Fog (4:02)
i played this in class when we were mugging, aps and mark being the audience, and that there were no violent objections to what they were listening to can only be a good thing for me. they were tapping their fingers/shaking their feet to the rhythm, in fact.

this second one when you've given up all hope of dozing off and just want some sounds to swirl around.
01. Amina - Skakka (4:13)
02. ? - ? (3:57) [no idea what this song is or who is it by. it came about as a mislabelled file purporting to be a radiohead track, circulating around kazaa in the period before their fifth album was released.]
03. R.E.M. - E-Bow The Letter (5:26)
04. Fairport Convention - Tale in Hard Time (3:25)
05. Travis - The Sea (3:50)
06. Mecano - Une Femme Avec Une Femme (4:07)
07. Eisley - Laughing City (3:17)
08. Yo La Tengo - Decora (3:26)
09. Piano Magic - I Didn't Get Where I Am Today (4:01)
10. Coldplay - Animals (5:34)
11. Sigur Rós & Mogwai - Record (3:44)
12. Beck - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime (5:54)
13. Massive Attack - Teardrop (5:24)
14. Mew - Comforting Sounds (8:53)

this third one is kinda nebulous. i started out wanting a zhuai3 record, but it turned out to be something containing songs that either you could swagger to or you could just picture the band being smug as they played the song. well, for me, at least.
01. Radiohead - I am a Wicked Child (3:05)
02. Gorillaz - Dracula (4:42)
03. Say Hi To Your Mom - The Fritz (3:03)
04. Blur - All Your Life (4:10)
05. Black Mountain - Modern Music (2:44)
06. Elastica - Connection (2:20)
07. The Zutons - You Will, You Won't (2:54)
08. Screamfeeder - Hit the Sky (2:43)
09. Something For Rockets - All OK (2:59)
10. Pavement - Stereo (3:07)
11. Chris Stamey with Yo La Tengo - Politician (4:54)
12. Cake - Comfort Eagle (3:40)
13. Electric Soft Parade - Lose Yr Frown (2:57)
14. Metric - Combat Baby (3:29)
15. Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight (2:12)
16. The New Pornographers - Mass Romantic (4:11)
the swagger element is most apparent in tracks 10 through 13.

am quite chuffed with myself as a result.

the earth is yet abound with fertile (and sensible) minds.

saint simon by the shins.

after all these implements and texts designed by intellects
we're still vexed to find evidently there's still so much that hides
and though the saints dub us divine in ancient fading lines
their sentiment is just as hard to pluck from the vine

i'll try hard not to pretend
allow myself no mock defense
as i step into the night

since i don't have the time nor mind to figure out
the nursery rhymes that helped us out in making sense of our lives
the cruel, uneventful state of apathy releases me
i value them, but i won't cry out
everytime one's wiped out

i'll try hard not to give in
batten down to fare the wind
rid my head of this pretense
allow myself no mock defense
as i step into the night...

mercy's eyes are blue
and when she places them in front of you
nothing holds a roman candle to
the solemn warmth that you feel

there's no measuring of it
as nothing else is love

sigh. gp ct tomorrow, and i have little confidence. esp wrt my time management - hopefully no screwups this time.
so now i shall proceed boost my ego by talking about pe yesterday. =] scored a hattrick! haha. so long since i played upfront in any match; usually i deploy myself either as fullback or wing-half. but at the start yesterday i told randy i'd play as target man, and within five minutes i found myself through on goal, then proceeded to place the ballto the keeper's left beyond his reach, into the bottom corner. sweet.
the second was even better - a good passage of play brought us down the right flank. somehow the ball worked its way to me to the right of the goal, and i just curled the ball across tsz san (who incidentally is a brilliant 'keeper - he cleans up whatever mess he creates) and into the goal just inside the post. i loved that goal. what great finishing. =] the third was a simple tap-in after yeemeng (i think) drew everyone outside and crossed the ball in.
could have scored one more late on to win it, but took too bloody long to get the ball under control in a two-on-one, and by the time i made my decision tsz san had come out and hoofed the ball into touch. but three goals. didn't win (7-7), but wonderful anyway. top-class hattrick. =D

this morning i did something that i haven't done in a very very long time - sit down and think about my (not-so-distant) future. clueless at the moment, for i cannot imagine myself working for the government in any of its ministries save the moe - and even then the direction moe has taken these few years is starting to put me off. looked around at the private ones on offer, but the only really solid one is the jardine scholarship, and needless to say i can only dream on wrt that. then went to the library and surfed the net to see if there was any chance i could get a scholarship and still do something related to the music industry, but my lack of music ability per se - theory or practical - means that choices in that respect are very limited. there's a music business course at the icom in kl though, but i doubt i have the guts to wander off the beaten track and take that alley up north. so for now it's still in limbo for me.

at the library i also took some form of the mbti test. results i got were infp; very strong i, the rest moderate or slightly. last time i took the test in sec 2 i was intp, but with lower i values and moderately strong n,t and p values. 3 very formative years since then.

haha miss ho has stumbled upon my old blog site.
well, not stumbled upon as is, but only because i couldn't be bothered to update my hotmail signature, which still bears the link to the site.
so yesterday at photog she just suddenly said "derrick, i saw your blog."
she also happened to see the post last year where i wasn't really happy with photog =] haha.


weeghee
adj. irritating.
"Someone dosed her drink and now she's weeghee."

wiggy
v. to shop for a family member.
"I can't believe Brian tried to wiggy!"

The Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary

sigh. felt like ranting sometime during the day, but lost the angst after napping on the bus home and then playing fifa for a while.
anyway any rant on this blog would have been watered down like twenty parts water to one part angst. if i rant i rant to myself in my mind.
but even then it's toned down. ah well.
suffice to say that our class is getting on the nerves of some people. and some in the class don't really look like they can guage the gravity of the atmosphere, either that or they keep choosing the wrong (from my pov) actions.

but that's what makes you love your classmates, those little quirks. =]

and pulp is so wonderful. jarvis cocker writes the best monologues.
and thirteen senses is everything that keane should be but cannot be because 1. their (keane's) lead singer is too cherubic in face and mind and 2. keane have no bassist. you want piano rock? menomena was one, the wierd indie version - thirteen senses are the british ones. in fact they out-coldplay coldplay at certain points.
now that's saying a lot.

oh and thesurrealist.co.uk is such an amusing site. case in point:

weeghee is a Tiny Squid that spits Jets of Water, represents the Vanguard of a Martian Invasion, cowers from Fire, has a Long Neck and a Computer for a Brain, and can Phase in and out of Existence. Strength: 1 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 12 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat weeghee, enter your name and choose an attack: fights weeghee using StrengthAgilityIntelligence

jarvis cocker is such a brilliant lyricist.
some gems:

"here comes your bedtime story: mum and dad have sentenced you to life." -- i love life
"your lover just traded you in for the very same model, but a much more recent year... it will get worse from day to day 'til you admit that you're a fuckup like the rest of us." -- bob lind (the only way is down)
"every touch reminds you of just how sweet it could have been, and every time he kisses you it leaves behind the bitter taste of saccharine. a bad cover version of love is not the real thing." - bad cover version
"help the aged - one time they were just like you, drinking smoking cigs and sniffing glue." - help the aged